3 Basic Tips on How to Survive Long-Distance Relationships

May 12, 2016

Although not by choice, I’ve been in a few long distance relationships already, including the one I have now (which I’m trying to keep for good btw). And to be blatantly honest, IT IS NOT THAT EASY. A lot of people think that this kind of relationship is pure bullcrap, that it'd all go down to break-ups sooner or later. Sometimes I think, "yup, maybe they're right". There were moments when I resorted to giving up, too. Heck that would've been easier. But I guess through time and two unsuccessful relationships, I’ve managed to pick up some lessons along the way. And for that, I'm grateful.

I've listed a few things on how we (Josh & I) are maintaining ours. Of course, LDR cases vary from distance and situation (and this is just based from ours) but I'll try to make it as general as possible with a few personal tips on how it's working out for us.

1. Trust

This one's pretty cliche, but I could not emphasize the fact that this is the most important element. We all know that trust is one of the foundations of a good relationship but this needs to be doubled (or even tripled) when you're in a long distance relationship. Yes, it might be difficult at first, but once you get the hang of it, you’ll find it easier when you’re not too uptight about things.

Learn how to trust your partner, and they will probably do the same. Loosen up a bit. Let them go out with friends from time to time because, honestly, the world does not have to be just about the two of you. And besides, this would be of great help to keep you both sane while in the midst of terribly missing each other. You both have to go on with your own lives while building your goals and dreams together. 

2. Make efforts, even little ones

While being an understanding partner by letting them hang out sometimes, it is also important to make time for each other. (Well, what relationship would that be if it’d be all about you hanging with your friends?) Of course there has to be a balance. Even though there’s trust between the two of you, it doesn’t mean you get to use the “trust me” card all the time. So, set limits. Make compromises.

In our case, since we’re both busy in school & for work during the day, we see to it that we still have constant communication. We call each other every night even if it’s just to check on how our day went or something.

When surprise visits aren't possible, why not try sending a care package? Fill it with little things that remind you of your significant other to let them know that you think about them all the time and I'm a 100% sure that this will make them fall for you even more.

3. Value your quality-time together

So, you only get to see each other every once in a while? That's not too bad. What’s important is that you make the most out of the time you have.

What you could do is plan your dates ahead of time. Make an itinerary so that you’d both be able to use your time wisely. Maybe you could go to a museum and try out this new restaurant this month, then have a beach trip on the next. That way, there’d be NO time wasted on choosing where to go or what to eat, etc. Plus, you could avail promos and discounts when you book or purchase something earlier (and also avoid queues)! 

BUT valuing quality time doesn’t mean that it should always be rainbows and butterflies. Discuss issues even when most especially when you’re physically together. Disregarding issues just because you only have a day or two with each other does not help the relationship. I really find it healthier when we personally talk about our arguments. In that case, there would be no misinterpretations and/or assumptions, thus, lesser chances of irrational impulses which you'd probably regret later on. Trust me… it’s way better rather than to argue thru text or over a phone call.

On a final note, it is important to create a vision for the both of you. Do you see each other 5 or 10 years from now? If not, save yourself some time because it’s not worth the hassle. Getting in a relationship requires commitment. No matter how difficult it gets, when you love, you've got to choose it day by day. And remember, this has to be a mutual effort.

There is no perfect relationship– just ones worth fighting for. I know it's cheesy, but I think that’s true.

I hope this has been helpful to other LDR couples out there. And if you have questions and/or tips on surviving long-distance relationships, feel free to drop a message. Because we, too, are still a work in progress, so I’d be happy to hear them out!

*Photos and gif images are from Google. These are taken from some LDR-inspired movies, namely, Before Sunrise, Going The Distance and Dear John. However, all thoughts and opinions are solely my own.


  1. These tips may just be "basic" but they are the most important thing in a relationship. Especially, trust! Jeff and I've been together for 5 years, and 3 years of it we spent of being far from each other because he had to work in Taiwan. Even though we were in a long distance relationship, we always made sure we have time to talk. Hindi pwedeng hindi kami magusap sa isang araw. Haha!

    1. Yes, exactly! I really think constant communication is the key when it comes to LDR. It's what you both have despite the distance so it's important to make an extra effort for it talaga. Good thing you've survived it, Carmela. Hope we will, too. Hehe


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