How To Really Know Someone, Vol. 06

January 22, 2018

In How To Really Know Someone, Vol. 03Vol. 05, there were a number of questions that didn't concern me at the time. Back then, I was lucky enough to be living in a world full of rainbow and butterflies, at the time where I didn't have to deal with grief, loss or sadness.

"Have you seen a person, an animal, or something else die? How did you feel about it? Have you ever taken care of a sick person? Have you ever seen a dead person before? How did you feel about it?"

Now all of my answers are YES. 

It's been months since I last wrote something personal. The last quarter of 2017 was pretty much a whirlwind, and it came to a point where I really considered shutting this blog down for good. I lost my will to write or do anything for that matter.

Two months ago, my grandfather was admitted to the hospital to undergo an operation on his kidney. It actually turned out to be successful and was supposed to be discharged after 3 days since he recovered fast and showed no signs of complications. It was 8:30am on November 29. My lolo, cousin, and I just had our breakfast. I even remember helping him take his Losartan that morning.  I was falling asleep on the couch since I barely slept the night before. A few minutes later, he tried to get up because he wanted to go to the bathroom. We helped him manage his way to the comfort room, when suddenly, he had a difficulty in breathing so I immediately called a nurse for assistance. We thought he was just having an episode of his asthma that he'd immediately recover from just like he always does. He even asked us to get his inhaler from his bag. But it wasn't just asthma. A day before he was supposed to get out, he had a heart attack.

I was there. It all happened right in front of my eyes, and it all happened so fast. The next thing I know, there were nurses, doctors and machines coming in and out of our room. I couldn't move. I didn't understand what was happening. The doctors were explaining some medical-related jargons, but I was just there, standing still. I saw him gasp for air. And it pains me that it was my last memory of my Tatay.

Up to this day, I'm still in the process of moving on and accepting. A part of me still blames myself for not being able to do anything back then. There are still a lot of what ifs and could have beens, but I know I can't turn back time. I just wish, hope, and pray that he's eternally happy up there. Life, as they say, should go on. And I know this is what Tatay would want for me. For us. 

One for each 'apo'. Necklace from Tatay from when he was still working in KSA. 💛


33. What are some things you like about your sibling?
I have two siblings, so do I really have to pick my favorite? Haha loljk. I guess what I like most about them is that they both connect with me in their own unique ways. Like with my sister, since we're only 2 years apart, it wasn't that hard for us to bond with each other. But with my younger brother, it's different. We're 7 years apart, and we literally annoy each other most of the time. Although it's quite a surprise that we have common interests when it comes to song choices, movies, TV series, etc.

34. Would you save an extremely talented musician who has the influence to promote good values for the world or a pregnant woman in a situation where it is certain you must choose one over the other?
Save from what? Well, this is yet another weird question and I have no basis to make the call, but my gut says I'd save the pregnant woman. 🤰🏻

35. If you could choose the sex and physical appearance of your soon-to-be-born child, would you do it?
Noooo! That would spoil everything. I want everything to happen in its own course, so I won't. 

36. What would it take someone to make you feel really fulfilled?
I don't really get this question? Like, how would someone make me genuinely happy? I guess it's when someone remembers the details. Getting me my favorite drink from the cafe for example. Knowing my favorite lipstick shade. Or simply offering me food because he/she knows I can't miss a meal due to my acidic tummy. It's really nice when people notice the little things. I feel like they genuinely care for me. 

37. Do you daydream a lot? What do you daydream about?
Mostly, my future. My dream wedding. Where my future house would be. How my future children would look like. Where would I be 5 or 10 years from now? I daydream about places I wish to visit, & make up scenes where everything in the world is okay.

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